Letting the right people into your life

Relatives, friends, acquaintances – all of them people entering our lives for a longer or shorter period of time. Some of them staying. Some of them only for a while. All of them influencing us in one way or another. Every single person will have an impact on you. Will leave something of themselves with you. Therefore, it is so crucial to know who is allowed to stay and who isn´t.

First solo travel experience

While travelling I learned a lot about myself and the people I connected with. Especially comparing my first solo travel with my second one I definitely learned from my experiences. During my first solo trip I went to Chile which was, undoubtably, an incredible experience. However, there, I did not nearly develop a connection as deep as with the people I met travelling through India. I did have a lot of fun during my trip, met a lot of nice people, but I also knew as soon as our way would separate, they would soon forget all about me. That was just their attitude towards people they met in general. They were travel buddies, nice people I hung out with, had a good time with, shared some good laughs with – but there was no genuine connection. If I had needed someone to talk during this time they wouldn´t have been the ones to ask. At that time, I didn´t even think it was possible to establish such a connection with strangers. As I said, it was my first solo travel, so I was eager to meet people. I also had a little fear of ending up all alone, so I was happy about some company. But not every company is the best company you could surround yourself with. There´s company just because you want to be surrounded by people, then there´s company where you really connect with people on a deeper lever. The latter one is what you should strive for. Sometimes, you are better of with waiting a little, spending some time by yourself and the all of a sudden you will just meet the person you are supposed to meet. Just like that.

During my first solo travel I remember one person that stood out of all the acquaintances I made. A Vietnamese girl born in Germany whom I loved to hang out with. I felt that she was a special person sharing some time of her trip with me and that I probably wouldn´t encounter someone like her again on this trip. We met when I was exploring the Valle de los Muertos, the Death Valley in the Atacama Desert. There, she was also visiting the area with two Chinese friends. When we met on top of a hill and started talking, her friends rather stayed by themselves, but we kept talking and talking like a waterfall. We walked all the way back to the city and agreed to meet the next day as well. Two weeks into my travels that was the first and only special connection I made and would remain the most special experience on this trip.

My second solo trip

On my second solo trip to India everything was different. I wanted to establish more profound connections with the people I met. This feeling of being connected with so many people around the world in so many different places is something so beautiful, something that makes you feel like being part of the whole world and not bound to a country.

Establishing these connections was surprisingly easier than on my first solo travel as I started my journey with a yoga teacher training. There, all of the students were living together in an Ashram for a month. A long time in which amazing friendships and profound connections can form. And they did. Spending that much time together doing yoga and meditating lead us to connect on a deeper level all together.

After leaving the yoga school and continuing my trip on my own, I kept encountering amazing people. Every place I visited, I met like-minded, amazing people. After finishing my Vipassana, for example, I met a girl who just had finished hers a few days ago as well in Kathmandu. We instantly connected, shared our experiences and could learn a lot from each other. She made Kathmandu a very special place for me even though I didn´t really like the city. Too much pollution, way too touristy and noisy and by far not green enough. However, that showed me one more that that with the right people you can enjoy any place in this world.

Auroville

One very special place filled with a lot of special people was Auroville. The whole village of Auroville is something truly amazing. Located in the south-east of India, this village was founded by a French woman called la mère, the mother. She founded the village to be a place of consciousness where people from all over the world could live together peacefully. A place without any religion, a place that accepts everyone. A place that ideally shouldn´t need money as well. The money part is not yet realised, people still need money to pay inside the village. Still, this place is amazing and has a beautiful energy about it. Right in the middle of the city, there´s a big round golden building solely built for focusing and concentration. For consciousness. Inside, you can meditate. Inside, everything is white. Starting with the white carpet on the floor to the white marble walls and white ceiling. You are embraced by a bright white space. This building you enter in silence. Stay for a bit. Meditate. Then you silently walk outside again. it is called the Matrimandir and is the heart of the city. It is where people go for a little tranquillity, a little quietness. All of this makes Auroville such a unique place with a very different atmosphere. You can feel it when you meet people, you can even feel it when you just look at people in the streets.

I had so many beautiful encounters in that place. People who inspired me, people who helped me learn more about myself or people that just where there for me. Especially because I was not having the easiest time there, I needed people to talk to, people who helped me to lift myself up again. Luckily I encountered exactly these people in my hostel. To this day I am so grateful for having met these people as such deep connections are not that common while travelling. Sometimes it can happen that no one would be interested in helping you. You would have to deal with your problems by yourself. Which is an important lesson to learn as well. But having my friends and support around me still made it much easier.

After all these beautiful encounters, I started looking for the right people to connect with more and more. We should spend our time with people who bring the best out of us. Whom you give energy and get back the same amount or more in return. On the contrary, people who just suck out your energy with giving nothing in return are probably not meant to be in your life. There´s nothing more beautiful than feeling a deep connection with someone and mutually benefiting from this relation. At the same time, I realised I am less tolerant when I feel like someone is draining me and it costs me a lot of effort to engage with this person. If that happens I feel like you just need to let go. Looking after yourself in that way is so crucial. It will safe you a lot of time and energy you can use for yourself or engaging with other people who mean the world to you.

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