When I first came to India my first impression was – well, let´s say not that amazing. Today, I can only laugh about how quick I was to judge this beautiful country at the start. After spending three months in the country, this place will forever stay in my heart. I can truly say that no other country has yet had such a significant impact on myself.
But let´s start from the very first step I set into India. I started my journey without many expectations. I wanted to let India come to me. Of course, I had a certain imagine in my mind created by the press and the media in my country, but this image just couldn´t live up to what India really is. To experience it, you need to go there yourself. You can never experience such diversity, such wisdom and on the other side of the coin, such suffering, hunger, poverty, if you don´t see it with your own eyes. Seeing rich and poor living right next to each other, watching people driving their Harley right next to children living on the streets, not even bothered to look at them. It´s a country of contrast as I already experienced on my first day.
The first place I visited was Rishikesh, the worlds capital of yoga. To go there, I had to take a flight from Delhi to Dehradun, up in the north. So, Delhi, this massive, huge city was the first place I encountered in India. Suddenly, everything was different, everything was new. I didn´t feel quite comfortable at the airport with literally every Indian man staring at me. But well, I was the only white woman around. So, I was a real attraction. At this point in time I would have loved nothing more than just to be invisible. The starring, the whispered comments was all too much for me. Soon, I would get used to it and not even notice it anymore – but not quite yet.
Then I had to change terminal – which also proved to be a challenge. At first, I couldn’t even figure out which bus I was supposed to take. When I asked at the info desk about it, I was told “the red one”. Well. There were a few red buses. Used to European structure and order I was completely lost in Indian chaos. However, I just decided to wait and asked every bus driver I came across. Later rather than sooner I finally got into the right one and off it went to my terminal.
The first Indian bus was also an experience. I still remember holding onto my stuff tightly in the crammed bus which was almost jumping over the bumpy road. I was still used to pampered European standards – everything running smoothly with people already complaining about a tiny road bump. But India is not Europa and Indian roads require Indian buses. Buses which are huge trucks with big wheels, sometimes run down but hey, they still worked.
On the way to the terminal, I experienced the contrast of India for the first time. We drove from a huge, modern, clean airport to slums with kids selling lemonade on the streets. I was shocked how rich and poor exists so close to each other without like two different worlds side by side.
A scary, crazy taxi ride
From Delhi I flew on to Dehradun where I was picked up by a taxi which brought me to my yoga school. The ride there was… let’s say…interesting. I didn’t feel very safe I have to say. There where no lights on the streets and it was already very dark. My taxi driver kept driving like we were on a race and he simply had to win it – whatever the cost. He kept overtaking every car that was too slow – even when he couldn´t see much. That was the only thing I didn´t get used my whole trip. The way Indian drivers drive. Which is very scary sometimes – and also the same with buses, most of the times.
Anyways, finally at the hostel, at my yoga teacher school, then met a lot of lovely people, got deeper into yoga and spent an amazing month. More about this wonderful experience will be found in my next blog post.
Doubting my choices
Even though I was surrounded by amazing people and felt at home at the school instantly, it still took me a while to get used to Rishikesh – and India in general. I should maybe mention at this point, that I´ve never been to Asia before, I had not even a reference of what to expect. This culture was just slammed over my head and I needed some time to adjust. The first few days I didn´t really feel the need of going out of the yoga school much. We were living right next to a very busy street, it was loud and noisy and scared little me was not at all used to having to pay that much attention to traffic. At least the cows didn´t fear as much as I did. The enjoyed their lives standing in the middle of the road, with everyone else driving around them. Traffic in India is a real chaos – there´s no rules- you just watch out for yourself. And you never driver over a cow. The streets were also dirtier than I was used to, with trash piling up at the side of the road. The very first few days I seriously asked myself Was it a good idea to come here? Will I handle this experience?
Falling in love with India
So, what changed then? A lot. I discovered how to see beauty in the dirt, in all the colours and shapes of India. In all the little shops with their owners, friendly – but also very eager to sell you something, in the river Ganges, in all the dogs and cows on the streets. I just love it now. And I got inspired from a really good friend of mine. Sometimes, the right people are just there at the right time. Especially from one friend I adopted the happy attitude towards everything, simply smiling along and seeing the beauty and magic in every little detail. Soon I couldn´t hold myself back any longer. Once I realised how much this country has to offer, I simply fell in love with it
This experience made me realise how quick I was to judge; how easy it actually is to dislike something if you don´t give it time. Don´t let yourself be fooled with first impressions. We judge in everyday life – over and over again, day after day. Which is okay. It is – to some extent – natural as we need some structure in our lives. However, being aware of your judgement is important. Once you become aware of your own biases this changes everything. You become open to new ideas, new points of views. Sometimes, it takes a while until real beauty unravels. Sometimes, you need a change of perspective. A little light. Or a good friend at your side who shows you the way.
India. A far away, mysterious country we normally don´t know much about. Most likely we will associate it with poverty and chaos. A huge country with a lot of different faces. A country I still cannot believe I will visit in only a few days, starting on the 1st of December.
I felt it now was about time to write down some anticipations, hopes and fears about this beautiful country. I want to have a clear vision of myself before and after my journey to see what I have learned and what has changed.
I will start my stay with a yoga teacher education in Rishikesh, the world capital of yoga. There, I hope to learn more about the philosophy yoga is based on. I´m also excited to learn more about the history of this beautiful practice. As yoga originated in India it is the best place to go to study. Yoga has been practiced in India for thousands of years. Such a profound knowledge and wisdom you simply cannot find anywhere else. Starting to learn something from the very roots is the best decision you could make.
In India, I will be engaging in a 200h yoga teacher training. I expect this training to be very challenging – physically as well as mentally. But I´m looking forward to it. Learning more about this practice has been a wish for months now. Now working towards it will finally pay off.
Afterward my education, I will still have one month of time to travel through India. I want to use this time to learn more about Buddhism which also originated in this country. I´ve been interested in Buddhism for a while now and there could be no better time to engage in it again now that I am travelling to its roots.
So far, I´ve only listed good anticipations, good experiences I am looking forward to making. However, I am sure I will also experience a culture shock. India must be so different from what I am used to it won´t leave me untouched. Many colors, people, odors surrounding me – way more than I am used to, at least in the bigger cities. Poverty in a whole other dimension. There are a lot of things that for sure will not be easy to witness.
Taking time for myself
This trip will also be the opportunity to take time for myself, to sort some things out I´ve been thinking about for a while, to focus on important tasks. Maybe one trip alone won´t have the answer to everything, but I am sure it will help me in one way or the other.
While spending time in the Himalaya, I want to be out in nature a lot, going hiking in the mountains. Mountains have always fascinated me, I love spending my time in the arms of these big giants. To me, nothing is more peaceful than standing on top of a mountain looking down on how far you have come, gazing over the villages and cities to your feet, miles away. They feel so distant, so far away. That´s a time where I can truly calm down. This calmness is something I strive for so much, something so peaceful, so beautiful and pure.
Just imagine yourself alone on top of a mountain now. With the wind blowing your hair, the sun gently warming your face. Sitting down, your hands grabbing the grass around you. Maybe you´re up so high they even touch snow. Cold ice cooling down your hands. Cooling down your face, your mind, your whole body. This is something I cannot wait to experience and the Himalaya couldn´t be a better place to do so.
Taking a break from social media
And now it will be time for another break. A break from social media, as well as from this blog. During my trip I have decided to not post anything. Not on social media nor on this blog. So, the next one, two or even three months I will be disappearing – at least from social media. I will continue to write down my thoughts and experiences, but I want to publish them in an organized, well structured way. At the same time this is a trip I simply cannot worry about social media or uploading content. This is a trip I want to focus on myself which means having nothing else in mind, not any distractions, no obligations nagging in the back of my mind. My overly ambitious self pushing me to upload and produce more and more. No. It´s time to stop. At least for a while.
I sometimes also have the feeling of social media taking over myself which I even have written about before. I know very well that I, for example, would read way more, would be way more productive if social media didn´t exist. I am not an unproductive person, but still, it could be better. That´s why I want to take a break. To break my habits, to get away from Facebook and Instagram which are the main ones I use.
The real life is happening outside, so why bother about what other people are uploading or doing at a certain moment? I hope that this way of not using social media for a while will break my habits and I will use it in a better, healthier way afterwards. I have not decided how long my break will go on – I will do so however long I feel like it. There´s always time to go back. Social media won´t run away. But my time to live will. Any minute you spend on social media you could have done something more productive. For me, it´s my biggest unnecessary time consumer.
Taking a huge break from a lot of things from time to time something I value a lot. Taking these kind of breaks means valuing what you don´t have in a certain moment even more. Being away from friends and family makes you miss them more and value the connection you have. Maybe it even deepens your connection.
I am a very sociable person, I love to hang out with other people, travel, meet new friends and make new connections. However, sometimes, I also need time for myself. And when you feel like you need to be alone, all by yourself, you should listen to that voice. There´s a time to make new connections and there´s a time for you and only you as well. If you constantly meet new people, socialize and never leave a little moment for yourself to be alone and process everything you just experienced, you might feel overwhelmed after a while. At least when you´re travelling as this means constantly meeting new people, making new connections and interacting.
Most of the time I do get a lot of energy from social interaction, but during travelling and without any break it eventually gets too much. That´s what always happened after having travelled for a while. Then, I need to take some days off, being just by myself At best in nature surrounded by green. These are the best moments when I can truly calm down and focus on myself.
I´m sure I will be coming back with great memories, great new knowledge and way richer than I am now. Richer in experience, in knowledge, in wisdom. It will be a long journey. And I already know that a journey that long never leaves you untouched. Never leaves you the same person you used to be. That´s the beauty about travelling. It teaches you so much you would not learn in any school of this world. It´s just about you processing your own raw experiences. You alone decide what you make out of them. You decide how much you will benefit from them in the future.
Coming back will be interesting. I love coming back and to see how much I have changed. While you travel you feel like the world is changing rapidly. You change places quickly, you are confronted with new impressions every day. Like that, it is easy to forget that everything at home stays more or less the same. Nothing is changing that much or drastically. And when you come back, that´s the stark contrast you need to see your change.
Change. Something we all have to face again and again from time to time in our life. As Buddhism teaches, the only thing constant in life is change. The only thing that we can always be certain of is change. Nothing will always stay the same. No matter how much we might want things to remain as they are, no matter how much we might fight against an upcoming change – slowly but surely it is going to happen. People are moving, the earth is rotating. Constantly. Without any attempt to stop. In this rapidly changing universe we simply cannot remain still. We constantly have to learn, to adapt, to evolve, to grow.
In this post, I am mainly to referring to change in your way of thinking and in your relationships with other people. I am by no means talking about dramatic losses or anything similar as I have not experienced this before and therefor will not pretend to be an expert in this subject.
Being afraid of change
I see so many people being afraid of change, desperately holding onto the past, turning a blind eye to everything slightly changing around them. This might be a good, self-protecting strategy for a while, but certainly not forever. Often, these people are surprised and cannot believe where this change came from when something eventually does happen. Then, when everything falls apart, shattered into pieces, they can only ask themselves “How did I let this happen?” This change can be anything from the relationship with your partner, friends or children. Economical and financial changes. But especially the ones that involve other people who are dear to you, whom you love and care for from the bottom of your heart can be challenging. Ignoring that something is happening won´t be the solution in these cases. If, for example, the relationship with a person you love very much is changing, if you feel there is something going on underneath, this should be a warning sign. A warning sign you need to be able to detect and listen to.
Naturally, we are equipped with the capacity to feel, to sense, to know when something new is coming our way. Some people who are more connected to nature and to their senses might be better at this, some might have almost lost their ability to deeply look into their souls. That´s why it´s so important to get in touch with this feeling, to deepen this sixth sense of knowing when things are about to get messy. This can be achieved with a little bit of practice, with a lot of yoga and meditation which connects you to yourself and the universe surrounding you once again.
You are changing
You are constantly changing. I see it if I look at myself. We are constantly learning, evolving and growing. Some faster, some slower, but over the years no one truly remains the exact same person. We are confronted with new experiences every day which we can learn from. Evidently, not every day can be inspiring, great and awesome, but we also learn a great amount about ourselves facing dark times, days when we feels stuck and nothing seems to move.
I want to share now how I deal with change and how I learned to welcome every opportunity life is about to give me. I feel like I have changed a lot in only the last year. Living abroad for quite a while has had a big influence on me. Even more than I thought. When I came home to visit my home town for a week I can see how much I really have changed comparing myself to others. Being brought back in the city I grew up in, my well-known surroundings, streets I´ve been walking through all my life. They feel different and yet they feel the same. I feel different and still strangely the same as well. Still, a lot has changed in my mind.
Especially considering material belongings. I feel that especially our western society has more than enough of nice, expensive things, but still we keep buying and wanting and needing. When I went to university again I saw a lot of young people dressed up, keeping their laptops in their 500€ bags. Expensive coats, boots and more. And not only on a few people. Nearly everyone is wearing the latest fashion. While I am waiting with my tiny, multicolored backpack I bought in the desert for maybe 20€. Which I love so much that I carry it around everywhere I go. Only a year ago I did not notice how much materialism has taken over our society. I was completely unaware of it. It seemed to normal.
I am definitely less materialistic now. Not having a lot, not possessing a lot of nice things could not feel more liberating. Back in my old room with all my things and belongings I now feel so overwhelmed and don´t understand my younger self anymore. Why did buy all these things I don´t even need?
This is a very good example of to what change can lead. Change has no limit you can change your way of thinking back and forth, again and again. While living abroad your mentality changes and as I am for sure not done with travelling, it will continue to change. Maybe not in a dramatical way, maybe not noticeable for everyone right away. But still. Slowly but surely. And it´s time to welcome this constant change.
How to welcome change
I love seeing change in my life. Even if I might not have considered it good in the beginning, every change I experienced turned out to having been the right thing at this point of time. Every change is a new opportunity, every change provides you with new possibilities. I just love looking back and seeing how things always have turned for the better.
The key is not to be afraid of change. Yes, maybe it will lead your life in a different direction – but is that a bad thing? Couldn´t this change lead you to experience a new possibility you have never dreamed of? Whenever I am a bit skeptical, whenever I am afraid of something new, I remind myself: There´s nothing bad about change. It´s just going to be different. Different is not an equivalent to bad. Bad is only your interpretation. If you see the change as bad, well, then it is bad. But if you welcome it with open arms, if you warmly embrace it, it cannot harm you. Even if you are facing a difficult situation, even if this change is related to people you love. It can always have something positive in the end. If only it is how to cope with a difficult situation. This is already something you can learn a lot from.
I´ve decided to welcome every opportunity of change in my life and see it as a chance. As something that will help me to grow and as something that I will benefit from in the future. Because sometimes, you only see the benefits afterwards. This might be a boring job you would like to quit or an uninteresting subject you have to study – afterwards, things sometimes fall into place so easily. Then you look back and see how much you actually learned from something simple and humble.
I´ve engaged in a variety of different jobs in the last years, from waiting tables to working in a call center – all jobs mainly to earn some money while studying. Nothing for forever, nothing I would be able to do all my life. Just meeting ends meet. While engaging in these jobs I was not a big fan of them. In my head I was already thinking about the next position I could apply to which would not be as horrible as I felt my current one. During this time I was desperately begging for change, not wanting to wait tables or take calls any longer. However, when I look back and see how much I learned from these jobs I am grateful I worked there for a while. No matter how much I disliked them, in the end it was a great opportunity to learn. If I can learn from something I find annoying and terrible in the moment, I am sure I can learn from every single difficult situation I am confronted with. Seeing things as a new chance, seeing your life as a learning process has helped me greatly. I will never again take a humble, simple experience not valuable. It´s these simple experiences and changes that you will look back on and say “I am grateful for this experience. It might not have been pretty, but I survived it. Now I can move on.”
Moving on is important. If you feel you are stuck in a certain situation, you cannot move forwards nor backwards, it might be time to move on. You can be stuck pretty much anywhere – in a job, in school, in a relationship with someone you love, with friends. The most important thing here is to remember that you alone have the power to change it all. You just have to want it. You have to welcome the change you are about to experience. You have to see it as a new opportunity, a fresh start, a new beginning. Starting over. Which can be scary at first. But if you start seeing every new chance as a fresh start, you will soon see that things are not that scary anymore. If you learn to embrace change, you will never be devastated if things are not going like you would want them to be. You take the scariness out of it. It´s just the natural process of everything on this earth. We should rather welcome and celebrate it then hide and pretend it is not going to happen if we turn a blind eye.
Sevilla. My last Spanish city I should travel to this year. A place that fascinated me and I will always keep in mind – also because of couch surfing which has never failed to provide me with the most amazing travel experiences.
To Sevilla with BlaBlaCar
As I had been in Madrid before, I travelled from Madrid to Sevilla in the early morning by BlablaCar which is a great way of travelling cheaply. I just discovered BlablaCar recently as buses to the city were to expensive and the BlablaCar option popped up on my laptop. So I decided to try it out. BlablaCar is a car sharing website and I just love their concept. People who are going to a certain destination anyways share their car with strangers so that they are not driving alone unnecessarily. Way better for the environment than if everybody would take their own car. What I also like about BlablaCar is that it is not only a car sharing service, but also a very sociable concept. It´s made to talk, to interact and to exchange experiences and all my rides had been really nice so far.
Arriving in the city
My BlablaCar arrived in Sevilla in the early afternoon. It dropped in me at the bus station and then I still had to find the place of my couch surfing host. Luckily, his place was right in the center and not hard to find. I arrived with the sun shining down on me brightly, the whole city seemed to be out on the streets enjoying the sun. I liked Sevilla instantly. The unique, arab influenced architecture struck my eyes from the very first moment. The city is beautiful and not too big so that you can walk anywhere by foot. Situated at river you can also take a walk right next to the water. Which is also where I walked towards my couch surfing place.
At my hosts place I was warmly welcomed by him, another Argentinian girl he was hosting as well and another Italian girl, a friend of his. He was living right in the city center with an old man who soon joined us for dinner. While eating together, the old man told me how he loved and adored Vienna, my hometown and how he visited it many many years ago. He was nice, but his Spanish was nearly impossible to understand. With the others I had no problem at all, but understanding old people in another language can be challenging. Especially if you never really talked to an old person before. So I was mainly just sitting there, nodding politely and saying “si” once in a while. Luckily I wasn´t the only one who seemed to have troubles understanding him as the others confessed later.
My host was quite busy during my stay as he had some tutor classes. The other couch surfing girl, however, didn´t have any plans for the evening so we went to see the sunset at the Metropol Parasol together. Which are six huge mushrooms at Plaza de la Encarnacion. The viewpoint was situated on top of them. We had to take a lift upstairs and after we stepped out of it we could witness the most amazing view the sky was crazily pinkish and orange on this day. It was such a perfect mix of colors we could just stand there with our mouths wide open admiring the beauty of the setting sun. We wandered around on top of the mushrooms for a bit until the sun fully set and it was getting dark.
Food fare of Sevilla
Afterwards, we went through the city a bit, talking and getting to know the city at night. It was already late and we were quite hungry so we decided to go to a food fare close to the main square and our couch surfing place. Soon we were standing in front of a lot of white tents lining up next to each other offering food of a lot of different countries. From Australia to China to Peru and more. I couldn´t decide between a Peruvian veggie burger and açai from Brazil. In the end, I opted for the second one. Then my host and the Italian girl also joined us and we all hung around, eating and talking, our topics ranging from exchanging couch surfing and as well as relationship advice. Once again strangers whom I only had met hours ago had already become friends.
Morning yoga class
The next day, we decided to wake up early as the Argentinian girl had to leave the city in the early afternoon and I had promised her and the Italian girl to practice yoga with them. As I had told them a lot about yoga and how much I love this practice before, they were interested to try it out, so we decided to meet up in the morning and have a yoga class at home. My host unfortunately couldn´t join as he had to go to university in the morning – so it was just us girls. I am not a yoga teacher yet, but as I have been practicing quite a while already I felt confident to give a mini yoga class. It was their first yoga experience and it made me really happy to see the enjoyed it afterwards.
Discovering the city
After yoga we went on to have breakfast in a café with our host who could take a small break in between his classes. It was a typical Spanish breakfast. Coffee, toast with tomato and cheese (and just tomato for me) and orange juice. My very first Spanish breakfast outside of home I have to admit.
It was a rainy day, but still, we went on the discover the city in the rain afterwards. My host went back to university again and we girls proceeded our way through the city. The Italian girl, who was living in Sevilla for a while already was our tour guide, telling us a bit more about the city and leading us to the most important sights.
Cathedral of Sevilla
First, we went to see the Cathedral of Sevilla which is a UNESCO world heritage site – and it´s easy to see why. It´s an impressive building and was the biggest cathedral in the world for a long time. Today, it is still the largest gothic church and the third largest church in the world. We didn´t go inside as we didn´t want to pay for it, but could see a lot from the outside already. We wandered around the church for a bit, then went on to another viewpoint the Italian girl suggested. The viewpoint was situated on the last floor of a gallery. We just walked in, asked if it´s allowed to go up and up we went. From there, we could even see the church a bit better from distance while overlooking a nice little green garden in the middle of the plaza.
River of Sevilla
After enjoying the nice view, we had a quick look on one of their markets. I always love seeing such an abundance of fruits and vegetable and there was certainly no shortage of it. Then we went on to cross the bridge over the river of Sevilla. We went on to a vegan shop I discovered and wanted to check out. It was time for my traditional vegan couch surfing pizza again which I usually bake for all my hosts and I still needed some cheese. So we went there, I got some cheese and cake for myself and then we proceeded to the Ladies Garden of Sevilla.
Sevilla and Game of Thrones
Afterwards, I was told that a part of Game of Thrones was filmed in Sevilla – which was one of my personal highlights. A part of it was filmed in a hotel and a part in the Ladies garden. As Sevilla has a lot of Arabic influenced architecture, this city was the perfect spot to shoot the magical, far away land of Dorne. The Ladies garden was truly amazing – and would have been even nicer without the pouring rain. We were walking around with our umbrellas, fighting rain and wind. As it was getting a bit worse we decided to go home to not end up completely wet.
Couch surfing moments
As our Argentinian friend was about to leave we just hung around in the house for a little bit talking about anything and everything, figuring out how we all had been working in a restaurant/catering service at one point of our lives. Sharing our experiences we figures out how much we learned about life from these simple, humble jobs. This is also an experience you mainly have on couch surfing. Complete strangers become best friends in a day or even less. We were sitting in the living room and talking like we would have known each other for months. When all of that just happened in a day.
In the afternoon, our Argentinian friend already left. Me and the Italian girl started to prepare the pizza when our host came home as well. After eating together it was still raining and my host had to go to university again. He was lucky to not having a long way going back and forth all the time.
The Italian girl wanted to show me the city, but got a bit sleepy and eventually decided to stay home. So I went on to discover the Plaza España by myself – which I had heard a lot about and was really excited to see. I went there in the rain, but the Plaza is astonishingly beautiful. Built in the same Arabic style as the other parts of the city, but bigger, breath taking. Beautiful and big, made out of reddish stones. I spent almost an hour there just wandering around in the building and taking pictures. As the building is really big, you can easily spend one or even two hours there just walking around. I had seen everything after an hour and decided to take a last walk along the river.
Along the riverside
So I started following the river into the city, just walking and taking in some impressions of the city. I love doing that. By just wandering around you normally cross the most important sights and you experience the city your own way, in your own pace. After walking around for a bit, I already had to go back as my host was planning to leave the city soon and I still had to get my luggage. So, I went back and it was already time to say goodbye to another wonderful host and a great city guide. People who made my travels even more enjoyable and which I am very grateful I got to meet. But it was time to go now. To go to the airport to fly back to Barcelona. Another great adventure had come to an end. Another great couch surfing experience.
Materialism. It´s all around us. It a product of the society we are living in, of what we consider a normal life. It´s what keeps this society going, growing, producing. By buying, wanting and demanding. We drive, the steering wheel firmly in our hands, directly to consuming and demanding, leading to producing more and more. Trapped in this faster and faster spinning circle it´s easy to forget to pose a very important question: Will this constant consumption make us happy in the end?
Our consumerist world is growing. Fast. Production is booming, every day we are confronted with new inventions, every day new products are placed on the marked, screaming and demanding to be bought. Thousands of dollars are spent on advertising to convince us to buy products we don´t really need or even want. Just to keep the game going like a well-oiled machine. And we fall for it. We want the things we see on TV, on billboards or in the newspaper. If it is advertised properly we want to have it and we cannot get enough. All of this wanting and consuming already starts with a very young age. So, I will now share my own story with you and how I feel about it now.
High school times
When I was still in high school, I was very concerned about what others thought of me. Like every teenager I was mostly concerned about my other appearance and popularity. Well, the second one was almost non-existent. I was just a tall skinny shy girl wanting to fit in. I wanted to be cool, wear more expensive clothes, have a newer and cooler phone. Things with which I could show off. Materialistic things.
My best example to this day is my old phone. I was 16 at the time and still owner of one of the very few, ancient last Nokias. I was ashamed of not being the proud owner of a new smart phone, of not even having internet on my phone. Particularly because I was surrounded by friends who already had a smartphone. This phone alone made me self-conscious. When I look back I should have owned it. After all, it was just a phone. But that´s not how you think as a teenager. It´s just a phone but it becomes more. It becomes a status symbol, a symbol of coolness. Which I didn´t have. Which made me different.
When I look back to these days, I can only smile at myself. Little did I know that only a few years later nothing of these things would have mattered anymore. It took me living abroad and learning more about myself to change this way of thinking.
What meditation thought me
I believe a lot of people don´t fully know themselves. I for sure don´t. But it´s getting there. I learned how to listen and pay closer attention to myself practicing meditation and yoga. Listening to yourself is crucial as you yourself know best what´s good for you. But, by the age of an adult, most of us have long forgotten how to listen. Instead, we cover ourselves in work and studies. Constantly distracting ourselves but not taking the time necessary to think what we really want and what´s important to us. Sitting down, closing your eyes you will soon see that not the latest phone or the newest bag is of any significant importance. What truly will matter in the end are our connections, our relationships with our loved ones.
What travelling thought me
My point of view on materialistic things also took a great shift when I discovered my passion for travelling. If you like to travel you need to think carefully how you want to spend your money if you intend to travel more on a regular basis. Travelling is now more important to me than any designer clothes or brands could ever be. It´s also more beneficial than giving into the desire of nice things. So, quitting to buy a lot of clothes was quite easy for me. If you think about on what else you could spend your money on, endless possibilities open up. For me, it was the possibility to see the world, to travel to countless new places. That´s something that will truly make me happy – and will produce memories lasting way longer than the short happiness you get from buying a nice pair of shoes.
I feel so good since I decided I prefer to buy comfortable, second hand clothes than expensive ones. Not constantly chasing the latest trend feels truly liberating. Travelling and living abroad helped me a lot to understand that materialistic things will not make you happy in the long run. Once I moved I couldn´t take a lot of my stuff with me, so I had to leave a lot of my things at home. The things I carry with me now I am no longer attached to. I realized that when I thought about a single item I would be devastated to lose – I couldn´t think about anything. Except of my laptop, because all my texts and ideas are on it – but that´s a different story.
The concept of mine
This concept of “my things”, “my car”, “my phone” is something that didn´t always exist. In earlier cultures. This separation in mine and yours didn´t exist. The earth, the ground was there for everyone. People shared it peacefully. They believed there was enough space for everyone. And they are right. How come we forgot how to share and started to cling onto things, making them ours and being unwilling to share them? Wouldn´t it be better to go back to this old concept of sharing and living together peacefully?
Letting go of attachment
When I started to work abroad and had to get by with not a lot of money my attachment to my things got less and less. I was more concerned to buy delicious food to eat than I wanted to buy the newest clothes. Food is a really important choice after all. You are what you eat and nothing could be more true. That´s why I personally follow a plant-based diet, mostly also trying to avoid sugar. Good food that nourishes not only your body but your soul is one of the most important things you could invest in. Your body will thank you years later for your investment. One day, your health might be the most important thing to you.
The story of the old lady
When you grow older, attachment also becomes less and less. I recently read a very good book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, in which he told the story of an old lady. She was old and laying in the hospital. Everybody knew she was about to die soon. She just had a few more weeks left to live. One day, her diamond ring she always had by her side disappeared. The lady got angry, accused her nurse of stealing it and could not get over this loss. Then, when her psychiatrist asked her why she was holding onto this ring so much she started to explain “You see, my mother gave it to me. It´s of sentimental value.” The psychiatrist wasn´t satisfied with her answer, asked her to think about why she really clung onto this ring so much and left.
She was upset a lot of days. Every day her psychiatrist came by and asked her another time why she was so upset about her loss. One day, when he entered the room she looked differently, more peacefully. A smile emerged on her face when she told him she finally figured out that her ring didn´t matter anymore. She was about to die, she might as well let go of it. It was almost like a huge, heavy weight was taken off her shoulders. She felt so free and liberated. She felt free. Then she started to give away even more of her possessions and with everything she gave away she felt a bit lighter, happier, more at peace. This lady finally figured out that materialistic things don´t make you happy in the end. And we can all learn from her story.
You don´t necessarily have to figure it out that late. Giving away everything you have has transformed the lives of many people. Giving away your things to live a simple life or to go around to travel. This doesn´t mean that everyone should abandon all their things. Do what you feel good about. But always remember to not let things posses you. Otherwise you might hold onto grief and grudge like the old lady in the story once your precious possession disappears, breaks or gets stolen. Without this weight on your shoulders you will soon feel more liberated, freer, happier. Without the weight of materialism. Without the constant urge to consume. And without spending a lot of money on things you neither need nor want.
On my travels through Spain I went on recently, I of course, also needed to visit the capital. I´ve heard so much about the city before – a lot of my friends didn´t like the city at all, told me it was boring and not much to see. So, I went there with not many expectations and was surprised and surprised again. Madrid was a wonderful experience and not only because of the city. It was because of my way of travelling, especially the way of accommodation I chose. Couch surfing. I´ve mentioned how much I like couch surfing before, but for those of you who aren´t familiar with the concept I will present it really quickly.
Couch surfing is a website that enables you to stay in a city with local – completely for free. Sounds too good to be true? It´s even better! This way of travelling focuses on the cultural exchange, about learning from each other. The beauty is that it´s not about money at all. It´s about getting to know someone from a different background, experiencing another culture while sharing yours.
I always loved this way of travelling as you can get to know another person very closely in a very short time. While having a good time walking around the city or later at home if they are busy during the day. It´s for free, and it leaves you back even richer than you where before. That´s why I always use this means of travels whenever I can. Especially if I´m travelling alone it´s a great experience, because you can share even more and focus on the other person than if you would travel with a friend.
Arrival in Madrid
So, using couch surfing as my means of accommodation this time as well is how I ended up with two incredibly nice guys in Madrid, one from Peru, one from Ecuador. They welcomed me with open arms, I felt comfortable with the two of them right away. As it was quite late already one even picked me up from the train station to let me drop my luggage and then they took me out with them to a Bachata Erasmus event right away. A lovely welcome. As I love dancing I really enjoyed this first experience in the city. The event was really nice, a very international vibe and good music. First impression – I already really liked Madrid even though I hadn´t seen much from the city so far. Well, I´d seen the city centre we were walking through the city centre at night, which gave me a brief impression of the city as well.
Experiencing the city
The next day I could finally see Madrid during the day. On a warm, sunny day I went on to discover the city by myself as my host was busy during the day. I went on to see Plaza Espana of Madrid with a nice garden behind it. Then I went on just walking around the city like I usually do, absorbing everything around me, taking in everything I can see, smell and hear. Experiencing all the new sounds and smells around me. As the city is big, there was definitely a lot to see and to process.
I went on to walk around the city for a while, just looking at the “normal” part of the city. This part of a city is always so interesting to me. I love to see how people live their everyday lives in a foreign city, where they live, what their buildings look like and how many green areas and parcs I can spot. After walking around for a little bit, I decided to walk towards a church which was conveniently near a vegan restaurant I wanted to check out as well. Vegan cuisine in different cities is always another attraction for me. I could probably also just go on a food tour as I simply love healthy and delicious food.
After taking a look into the menu of the restaurant I decided to save this place for later and went on to see the Palacio Real of Madrid which is the official residence of the royal family in Spain. It is a huge, impressive building. If I would have had more time I would have entered to see the inside, but as gigantic queue was already lining up there, I decided to just walk into the cathedral next to it and let the palace left to discover for another time. The cathedral was comparatively small, and there was a mess going on inside. So, I listened to a Spanish mess for a bit, out of curiosity.
Plaza Mayor and Puesta del Sol
Then I went on again into the city centre to see the Plaza Mayor, the main square in the city centre which was being renovated at the time and therefor didn´t even look that pretty. After taking a look at the Plaza (or at what I could see from it) it was already getting darker. My host had promised we would meet up at the Templo de Debod, which is an old Egyptian temple, to see the sunset. At the same time, I had a great over the whole city. That´s another great thing about couch surfing – you are staying with people who live in the city, so they know which places you should definitely go to! Who knows if I had even visited this place otherwise.
The place didn´t disappoint me, I arrived a bit late, but I could still see the last glances of sunrays on the horizon while the sky was turning from orange to pink to dark blue and almost back. The darker it got the more the city was lightning up and I couldn´t get enough of taking pictures and appreciating the beauty of Madrid at night.
Dancing in Madrid
Then, my host already arrived, we took some more pictures and we went out to eat in the vegan restaurant I already knew for earlier this day. I got a burger and fries and was happy like a little kid about my delicious choices – and finally being able to sit after being on my feet the whole day.
Afterwards, we went on to a bar to dance bachata again. As my host was a dancing teacher, he could teach me how to dance a little bit better again. That´s the beauty of couch surfing! You can learn so much from another person while sharing what you do best. I, for my part, finally discovered my love of dancing again – it´s easy to lose it if you don´t practise. This bar was very nice, soon full with people dancing. That´s the kind of nightlife I enjoyed! On our way back however, I was I bit unlucky. As we needed money for the bus I wanted to get some cash at an ATM nearby. This ATM, however, decided to swallow my card and hold it hostage. First, I panicked a bit as this was literally my only money. But soon I calmed down. It was already very late and I would not be able to change the situation now.
Last day in the city
So, I waited until the next morning. Then I went to the bank right away to look for the card. Luckily, it still was there, my fear of it being stolen was soon overcome. I was relieved, I don´t know what I would have done without any kind of money. Then, I met my host in the city and he went on to show me the Gran Via of Madrid – the biggest shopping street I was already on as my card got swallowed there.
Then we went to see the Puerta de Alcala right at the Plaza de Independencia – the place of independence like the name already suggests. This arc is situated right at the entrance of the Retiro parc – a big green oasis in the centre of Madrid.
I instantly loved it. The first thing I saw when I entered was a little river you could even rent a boat on to paddle around. The parc was wonderful green, I was surrounded by so many trees and ponds and instantly felt happy. We went through the parc a little bit, to discover another pond and the Crystal Palace of Madrid which was built in the 19th century by a Venezuelan architect.
Afterwards it was already about time to go home and buy some ingredients for the vegan pizza to cook for the guys. Which is a little tradition of mine – cooking for my hosts as a gesture of appreciation that they let me into their home and spent so much time with me. As they didn´t have an oven we improvised and made a delicious pizza in a pan. It was already my last day in Madrid! I couldn´t believe time had passed that quickly. In the evening practised to dance a bit more and watched puss in boots in Spanish in the evening. A very nice stay was slowly coming to an end.
Why I love couch surfing
I didn´t stay in the city for a very long time, but I still feel like I experienced the general vibe of the city. I saw the most famous sights and spend a wonderful time with nice hosts. An experience you simply just have using couch surfing. Another reason I also really liked this city was that I felt like people would be more tempted to speak Spanish with me even though I don´t speak it perfectly. With my hosts as well as with people in the streets.
Especially my hosts made me feel comfortable enough to talk in Spanish. I still made a lot of mistakes, invented some new words and so on but we had great fun with me mixing up words. In the end, it´s always possible to communicate, even though if you are not sure if you have mastered a language just yet. This experience of communicating in the local language is also something you find staying in a couch surfing place rather than in a hostel where most people talk English, or an Airbnb or a hotel.
What makes this experience possible is that you don´t pay for you. That changes a lot if you don´t just see it as a free accommodation. You go there with different expectations, anticipations and hopes. You start thinking about what you could offer to the people hosting you to compensate their generosity. I´m always surprised of how much people actually offer you. Not only a home, but also their company, share their skills with you and you share yours.
It´s a beautiful concept and every single experience on couch surfing has enriched my life, my experience, has taught me something new. I always enjoyed it a lot and I will continue to write about it as I feel like it truly is the best way to travel. Just try it out for yourself! Especially if you are travelling alone you will be amazed by the people you´ll get to know.
Where is your home? Where do you feel most at ease, laid back and comfortable? Is it the place where you grew up? Comfortable and cozy in your familiar surroundings? Or is it somewhere far, far away from the environment that felt so close before? Could it be anywhere? Could it be nowhere?
Where do I feel at home?
This question has been with me for a long time now. As I have not been “home” for quite a while, it necessarily had to pop up eventually. Because right now, I have no idea which place I want to call home. Vienna, Austria, is definitely the place I grew up in, the place most of my friends and family live in. It is a city I know well, a city I love. But does that make it my home? Not necessarily. Especially if you are not sure if you will stay.
I´ve spent the whole year of 2018 abroad so far, and I will continue to do so. First, I studied abroad in Bordeaux, France. Then I moved to Barcelona to live with my boyfriend and work in the meantime. Did I feel at home in these two cities? Strangely, yes and no. I would say yes to Bordeaux, I would say no to Barcelona. Which might surprise a lot of people. After all, Barcelona is a city almost everybody loves. It´s the city right at the beach in beautiful Spain everybody loves to visit. I, however, will be quite happy to leave the city. I never got to feel really at home here. But why? Well, let me share my story of feeling at home with you. Let’s skip back to the early beginnings of 2018.
Living in Bordeaux
Moving to this city in early 2018 was amazing. I enjoyed my exchange semester there a lot and I met some truly wonderful people I will remember for the rest of my life. It´s not too big, not too stressful, with enough green spots and parcs to take a walk and enjoy your free time. It´s a city of students, full of international, but also French students who come there from all over France.
The city is international, but it still remains a French city. If you want to talk to the locals and to make local friends, you better speak French. Otherwise, it will be a bit difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. But that was exactly what I loved about the city. People would actually speak French to me even if my French wasn´t that good at the time. They would only rarely switch to English. I just loved this experience. I like being “forced” to talk a language as you will learn most from just trying and eventually succeeding talking it. That was my reason to come to Bordeaux. To learn the language and to experience the French culture.
I learned and I grew a lot during this time. Not during my first weeks, however. Back then I was completely torn into my first Erasmus experience. As every Erasmus student I was ready to go out and party. That´s basically how my first weeks went. After that, a general switch took place. I started to participate in a dancing class learning Bachata and Kizomba which I loved instantly. Slowly but surely, I stopped going out as I didn´t see a sense in doing so anymore. I preferred going out to dance with my friends from dancing class. Going out just to merely drink was just becoming strange to me. I went to some language exchanges where I met a lot of wonderful, inspiring, young people with a vision. People I could have great conversations with and I will never forget.
Coming back to the city for a bit, Bordeaux is also a bit more environmentally friendly than Barcelona. Now that I have the comparison, I would say people are more aware of the environment and of their influence and responsibility to keep our planet clean. In Spain, this consciousness is sadly not very widespread.
Now let’s take a look at this city. I have been wondering for a long time why I don´t feel at home in this place a lot of people adore and dream about. Granted, I experienced the city a bit different than I experienced Bordeaux. I moved there to live with my boyfriend and to work, not to study. Naturally, working life is not as fun as studying. But living with my boyfriend is. So, I was not even alone in the city. What happened then? Well, sometimes, things are complicated. But until this day, I do not feel very welcome in the city.
The first job I found was as a pub crawl leader. Which was cool at the time, but after a while I realized that this job wasn´t made for me. Before, I had been slowly moving away from the going out and drinking life. At the end I rarely even drank in Bordeaux. Now I was thrown back into a scene I actually wanted to escape from. And I had to have fun. It was my job, after all. Doesn´t sound bad, if you´re a party person. But as I wanted to do something different I felt like not being true to myself. Betraying myself, trying to convince me that this was fun and what I wanted to do. When it was most definitely not.
I am on open person, I love talking to people and getting to know them better. Something I had to do gathering people for the pub crawl. This part was fun. It was a part I really enjoyed. In one week I met a lot of people, lots of new connections. But what I didn´t like was the partying and drinking all night long. After I was into the job almost a month, I wanted to stop drinking, I was so fed up with partying and going out. This life might be enjoyable for some, but it was not for me. Every night is simply too much. I felt like going on in this manner I would just waste time, while having meaningless conversations with drunk strangers who will not even remember my name the next day. While killing my senses with alcohol. Thanks, but no thanks. It was time to look for something else.
I applied for a job in a call center and was promptly taken. Working for the German market, answering call after call every day. Not a particularly fun job either, but easy to find, easy to get. Right now, I am genuinely thankful that I applied to this job. I met so many great people, people interested in yoga, people who inspired me and brought me to where I am now. I would not have wanted to miss these connections. This was one of the good sides of the city. I also grew way deeper into my yoga practice.
Then I began to understand more and more why I could not catch feelings for this city. Barcelona is a party city. Of course, there are living a lot of people, so surely not everyone likes to party. But it´s the general mood, the general vibe of the city. Most people I encounter are here for the good life, the easy life, the party life. A life I am really interested in. People are nice, easy going, international, mixed. People are cool. I just don´t enjoy the same kind of activities most of them enjoy as well.
As I said, a very international, touristic city. Which is a good and a bad thing. If you want to meet someone who´s speaking your language – no problem. If you want to meet a real Spanish person from Barcelona, it will be difficult. I´ve been living here for six months now and can say I have one Spanish friend from Barcelona. Just one. Not more. Everyone else is from another country.
So, if you´re here trying to learn Spanish, be prepared for people answering you in English. And the real locals even speak Catalan which is a whole other story. I wanted to learn Spanish, but my everyday life I´m mastering in English. At home I talk to my Brazilian boyfriend in English. At work I was talking German or English. No Spanish whatsoever. This bothered me, as I wanted to learn but at the same time people kept responding to me in English. After a while, I kind of gave up on it. I thought I might as well learn it somewhere else. It was only recently that I discovered my love for the language again. It took me travelling to Madrid where I talked in Spanish for three days to discover that I actually do love the language. I just forgot it. Now it´s finally coming back.
Another aspect why Barcelona isn´t that great for me is that I am really missing green areas. Finding a parc in this city will be a challenge and most of the times they are very tiny with just a few trees. There is the famous Parc Güell, which is very touristic and far away, then there is another great parc at Monjuic and parc de la Citudella. That´s it. Three big parcs for a whole city. Which is simply not enough for me. The city is too grey, too busy and too big. The easy going stereotypical Spanish way of life doesn´t really exist here. I rather find Barcelona has already been transformed in a stressful business city where people work too be somehow able to afford their overpriced flats. Maybe this relaxed way of Spanish life can be found in other cities, but not in Barcelona.
Where do I feel at home then?
So, how do you feel at home in a city? When and why? When the thought of not really liking Barcelona first came up I began to wonder why this might be. What could possibly have happened that I didn´t enjoy this city so many people adore and dream living in? As I started talking with others who felt the same we discovered the same disbelief of not liking this supposedly wonderful city. As everybody tells you the city is great, there´s a lot of nightlife you start to wonder what might be wrong with you that you cannot enjoy it. The truth is, nothing is wrong with you. I´ve found that some cities are made for some people, others aren´t. Of course, you can find people who think like you in any kind of city. But for me, the overall vibe, the overall feeling in the city has to fit. Otherwise, this feeling of being at home will simply not occur. Not even if I am with a person I love – which helped a lot to still enjoy my time here even though I know the city is not made for me.
So, what does it take to feel at home at a place? For me, this depends more on a feeling that on anything else. I feel like Barcelona will not be able to grow on me. Bordeaux could. And what about Vienna? After all, I´ve just been away for a year. But in a year, a lot can change. I don´t necessarily consider Vienna my home now either. I´ve been away for too long. So far, it´s just been a year, but a year is still a long time.
Right now, I could not possibly say where I strongly feel at home. I could develop this feeling for a lot of places. For more than one. You don´t necessarily have to settle for one place in this world if there´s so much out to see. For me, there just have to be certain components that are always important. Being in a relaxed, green environment and having people around you whom you are important to. If these two factors are present I am convinced I can feel at home anywhere. If not, I will struggle and wonder what went wrong in this place, why I don’t like this place as much as I should.
This feeling of being at home is very personal, very subjective. My definition could be completely different from yours. Still, it´s important to find your definition. Especially if you´re travelling or if you´re looking a place to settle you need to know what you´re looking for. I am grateful for having experienced two very different cities for a while now. It showed me more clearly what I wanted and what I didn´t want at all. If you´re unsure yourself and have the chance to live in a variety of cities I would strongly recommend you to just go out and try. You will soon see which places will be able to grow on you and which ones you will never want to set foot in again.
Want to read more posts like this? Here you can find more about my thoughts on a quarter life crises
Recently, I spent some time outside of Barcelona again to travel around in Spain for a bit. My destinations were Valencia, Madrid and Sevilla, which are all amazing, beautiful cities. My first stop was Valencia, where I travelled to with my boyfriend. The other cities I visited on my own. But, first things first. First, let´s take a look at Valencia.
Streets of Valencia
We just stayed there for 2 days, but we had the best time ever. We were staying in an Airbnb directly in the center – the perfect location to discover the city. When we arrived in the morning we still had a bit of time to check into the Airbnb. During this time, we started to walk through the city a bit. Valencia welcomed us with sunshine, warmth and a lot of colors. Walking through the narrow streets of the city a lot of paintings and graffiti struck my eyes. I could spot a lot of shops and little boutiques lining up in the city center. A lot of handcrafted items like jewelry and fans where produced in these little boutiques. Unique and not replaceable as all of them are produced in a slightly different way. The small streets were strangely empty, not a lot of people walking around. It was only then when we discovered we came to the city on a Sunday, where not much is going on in any city.
For me, Valencia is such a colorful, lively city. Yet still calm when you walk away from the most touristic areas. It´s a smaller city than Barcelona, but there is enough to see and do for sure. It´s also less international, which is good if you are trying to learn Spanish. My first impression of this city was right away “Wow, I really like this place”. I felt comfortable there instantly.
We went on to discover a bit more of the city, went by the big, but on this day closed market hall and made our way to the Valencia Church. This church is a very impressive building. Built in the 13th century, big and majestic, located on the main square of Valencia. It´s so big it will take you a while to go all around it. We admired the church for a bit, went inside and then went on our way to the Torres de Serranos.
Torres de Serranos
Then we went to see the Torres de Serranos of Valencia which is a huge former defense tower of the city. It was part of an ancient wall surrounding the city. Now, there are only two defense towers left in whole Valencia, the wall and all the other towers have been destroyed.
Parc de Turia
The most beautiful part of the city we got to see a glimpse of on our first day crossing the bridge from the old town to the newer part of the city. The parc de Turia. The parc of Valencia. Shaped like a river reminding of a green snake curling her way through the city. The parc came to his shape due to being a river in earlier times. This river was flowing through the whole city. However, as the city was floated heavily by the river, the government of Valencia decided to transform this river into a parc. Today, this parc is a beautiful green spot in the city to relax, go jogging or just enjoy the sun.
Food in Valencia
We didn´t go inside of the parc this day though, we just saw it from a bridge above. We wanted to save the parc for the next day. When it was already getting late, we decided to look for something to eat – which had to be vegan in my case. Food is another thing I love about discover cities. I´m always fascinated by the vegan options I can find in another city. In Valencia there was definitely no shortage. I opted for one called Vurger and got one of their delicious vegan burgers. Valencia was now officially vegan approved. Then we went home it was already late, the city already lightning up, so we could admire it during the dark as well. The streets emptying slowly, temperature dropping and the cathedral lighting up in dim, warm light. It´s definitely another vibe during the dark, which I always love to see and experience as well.
Free walking tour
The next day, we opted for a free walking tour to get to know the city a bit better. The day before we had already seen the most important sights and walked through the city quickly, but this day we wanted to know a bit more about the history of the city. We went to the main square, the starting point of our tour, and chose one in Spanish – also for me to listen closely and improve my Spanish skills a bit.
Tribual de los Aguas
We started our tour at the Valencia Church where our guide told us about the Tribual de los Aguas – a reunion that is weekly taking place every Thursday in front of the cathedral. Translated it means the water court of the plain of Valencia. This court consists of eight judges who come together weekly to sort out issues about the distribution of water between the farmers in the surrounding areas. This court is a very old tradition of Valencia which was brought to Spain from the Arabs and remained until this day. The court is taking place in the open, the judges are sitting in front of the church, open for everyone to see. Always taking place at the same time and the same spot, always attracting a lot of people. This court was founded when water was a luxury and had to be distributed carefully. That way, the city ensured their water was not being wasted and equally given to everyone. Today, people value this tradition with the same respect they did years ago. It remains a unique ritual of the city as to this day, Valencia is the only city where a court like this still exists.
Then we went on to see the city, basically followed the track we did the day before and saw the Torres de Serranos again. Then we went into a small street and heard about the Valencian Paella. This dish is made out of rice, vegetables and usually sea food (which you can leave out and it still tastes awesome). We learned more about the big Paellas in Valencia, which are being prepared in a huge pan in which you can cook about 5000 meals. A lot of chefs preparing it together, cooking it while standing on a rotating bridge. This event always attracts a lot of people who come together to eat the Paella later as well!
The tour took about two hours, afterwards we quickly went home to grab our bikes which were also included in the Airbnb apartment. Then we went on a little bike tour through the city. Valencia is perfect for bikes, you will see a lot of people biking around and as it is quite small you can go around with them very quickly. We were now mostly interested in the parc of Turia as I wanted to see this beautiful place from closer. Biking through the parc with trees lining up in the middle and the side of our way was truly amazing. A great spot in the middle of a city. As this was a river once, the parc is laying a bit lower than the actual city and we were riding on the river bed. The streets above our heads, cars rushing over us on top, but seemed distant and almost unable to hear.
Museo de Ciencias de Prince Felipe
Once you ride through the whole parc you will eventually reach the Museo de Ciencias de Prince Felipe. The museum of sciences. This building is just breathtaking. Modern, new and white, seeming to float on the water surrounding it. This building is probably one of the first things you can see once you search the city of Valencia on google. It is a very known building which was just built in 2000, futuristic looking and beautiful. I was so amazed seeing it I wish we would have had time to go inside. But as we were just visiting the city shorty, we couldn´t take the time to enter it.
Beach of Valencia
The last spot to see was the beach of Valencia. We rode on hour bike for about 40 minutes to reach it. Along the port with all the boats laying and some metal statues posing in front of the sea. The way to the beach was a very nice ride, the beach itself rather ordinary. A normal beach of a city. Surely nice in summer, but as we weren´t there to swim we soon made our way back into the city center.
Time to leave
Then we went back and already had to pack our things to leave. Me to Madrid, my boyfriend home to Barcelona. It felt a bit strange to separate like this, one going home, one staying on the road for a bit. But I still wanted to see more of Spain and had gotten more days off than he had. So I decided to go to discover more cities of Spain.
Now I finally can compare my solo travel experience to travelling with your partner. Travelling with your partner is comfortable, it deepens your bond, your connection even more as you are sharing all these new moments and impressions with the person you love the most. Travelling alone is a whole other experience as you don´t have anyone you know to rely on. You have to rely on others and on yourself. You surely make more connections than travelling with someone you know.
I would say like both ways of travelling a lot – it is just a different experience. Some people might find even the thought of travelling alone horrific and could not imagine being all by themselves in a city they don´t know. Other would love nothing more than seeing and exploring a new place alone, taking everything in for themselves.
I, as I already said, like both ways. I genuinely like to see and discover new places as it never leaves me back the same. Even though I just travelled shortly I still feel I made some very valuable experiences on my way. I always learn some new things I could benefit from, meet people I can learn from. This is what makes travelling such an enriching, unique experience. More is about to come in next weeks post!
I know, this title sounds a bit dramatic. But after thinking closely what I´ve been experiencing the last few months/year I guess that’s what describes it best. For me, a quarter life crisis means you´re lost, to some extend, you don´t know what to do and how to go on especially after finishing school. What now?
We go to school for 12 years, then we study. We do our bachelor’s degrees, then the masters. All this time we might be so caught up in the world of studying that we don´t even ask ourselves. Do I even want that?
In my case, this question came up even before. And I will tell you why. It all happened during the past year, more or less. A year in which I had time to think and clear my head. But lets start from the very beginning.
A good student
For 12 years, I´d been a very good student. When I left school, I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do. While most of my friends decided to take a bit of a break from studying, a gap year, in which they travelled or engaged in some kind of social work, I had it all planned out. I was going to study journalism and political science and become a journalist writing about politics. Two years later, this plan has changed, has made a flic-flac about 180 degrees and stands now upside down on its head.
When I left school, I was not the tiniest bit interested in doing a gap year to go abroad and travel. I considered it a waste of time, I was more worried about graduating soon and starting to work. In my mind, I simply couldn´t waste this time and should rather invest it in my education. No time for fun. No time for experiences. Focus on work. How silly it sounds when I speak it out loud. How serious did I think being only 18 years old. I was more focused on making money and being able to afford a flat. I was so convinced that I wouldn´t achieve my goal as quickly and efficiently if I “wasted” my time travelling. On top of that I wanted to be a good student, a good child my parents could be proud of. After all, that was all I was used to be.
A year later
A year later, a lot has changed. I soon regretted that I didn´t take my time to travel and go abroad during a gap year. My opinion about travelling changed due to me getting to know my boyfriend who travels frequently. Once I heard about all the places he´s already been to and got inspired instantly. I felt the strong urge to do the same, to discover the world on my own. He, already, influenced me to rethink my priorities and awakened the urge of discovering, the dream to see the world and to go on adventures. Half a year later I ended up in Chile traveling by myself for the first time. Afterwards, I visited him in his home country, Brazil. The urge to travel and to discover was already awoken. And it would spread much further.
After I came back from my travels I applied for an exchange semester abroad, which I always wanted to do and was accepted. In early 2018 I moved to Bordeaux. There, alone in a new city, for almost half a year, the biggest switch took place. I began to question if I even liked what I was studying. I went deep into myself and the answer was not satisfying. I knew I always wanted to write, I love writing and I always did. But somehow I was convinced that I could only follow my dream in becoming a journalist. That was my version of finding a profession in which I could do what I love while getting paid for it. Well, not quite.
I realized that becoming a journalist was not the answer at all. After all, you cannot write as creative as you want when you´re just telling the news. To do that you don´t even have to be that good of a writer. You don´t have to come up with stories, you don´t have to be creative. You just have to be able to re-phrase context. As I wanted to be creative, this was not an option anymore. I also didn´t want to pollute the world with more negativity. We all know very well that negative news sell the best and the fastest. Apparently, we like to hear about other peoples suffering. I could go on about that for a while as well, but that´s a different story. A topic for another post. I just knew now, with all clarity, that this was in no way what I wanted. I wanted to be creative, to use my writing to help people rather than to sell more negativity. I wanted to do what I love most and just make up stories and write. Journalism was dead to me soon with zero plans of engaging in this plan ever again. But what now?
What now? I was posing that question hundreds of times. I didn´t know what to do, how to even write for a living. By this time, I was studying political science in Bordeaux, which is an interesting subject, but nothing I will further engage in the future either. I surely don´t want to become a politician nor do I want to work in that field. I know I would not be happy in this world.
My life had lost this sense of clear direction, of clear structure I had before. Before, I had a clear vision of where I would end up in five, ten years from now. Now, I didn´t have a clue at all. Everything and anything was possibly. I was overwhelmed by the countless possibilities that opened up, not knowing which direction I would finally end up in. My structure fell apart, left me with chaos in my head and a million questions. What in the world am I even doing?
I thought about travelling, about just quitting it all and travelling the world to see where I would find my answers. After I didn´t find an answer in Bordeaux, I moved to Spain to live with my boyfriend in May. There, I finally started writing again. Soon I realized that this was the activity I needed to do. It is my greatest passion, when I do so I often get caught up in the moment, I just let the words flow from my brain into my hands and type. And I could happily go on for hour without even noticing that time is flying by.
Discovering my passion
I started to practice what I love most. I started taking this blog more serious and started some other writing projects. And I enjoyed it. Following my passion has helped my greatly. It has brought some order into the chaos, has brought some structure back into my life. Even though I still don´t have a clear plan like I did before (and I probably never will) I´m not feeling that lost anymore. For now I can live with it as I finally discovered what I really want to do. In a way, I always knew it. I just forgot it on my journey.
How to discover your passion?
I know, however, that a lot of young people are not like me and sometimes don´t even know what their true passion is. I have been talking to many, many people who feel lost and don’t know what they could possibly do with their life. There are too many options, too many studies and jobs to choose from. How do you know you will end up in one you really like? You don´t. And how can you find out what you really want to do if you have no clue what to do? So many new jobs are emerging, so many new job ideas. In our world, you can basically become anything. You can become self-employed, work in an office, travel and work – the possibilities are endless and often leave us left in the paradox of choice. Too many choices – too much struggle to settle for one possible way.
I believe that this crisis or momentarily sense of not knowing where to go and what to do is normal in our modern world. With all our possibilities you have a huge list of things you could study, you could become. When I entered university, I was confronted with a long list of possible studies – some with very long and strange names which were hiding some unclear, broader meaning. For some, I still don´t know what they really stand for. However, we live in this world now and have to face its challenges. It might not be easy, but finding out what you enjoy most doing is the first step.
I can only stress how important it is there to find something you´re passionate about. Maybe you always knew it and just pushed it back in your mind like I did. Maybe you still need to find it. If you don´t know it, I would spend all my energy and time finding it out. I just can talk for myself here, but finding your true passion feels greatly liberating. It is something you are good at, you enjoy doing and you trust yourself to accomplish even more while engaging in it.
Meditation and other practices
I might write another update on this post when I feel like I have finally figured it out. So far, I can only offer my own experiences and the advice to follow your heart. It might sound cheesy, but listen deep inside you. Deep down, the answer is already there. You just need to be able to hear it. I did so through thinking, questioning, reasoning. Through meditation (learn more about mediation here). Meditating has helped me greatly and this journey too. It is by no means the solution to all your problems. You cannot expect to meditate for a few minutes and getting all the answers to your life`s problems. That´s not how it works. But it is the start of discovering what you really want deep inside. Go into yourself. Breath. Think. Once you engage in your true passion, everything will already be a bit easier. You have something that keeps you going, you have something you enjoy greatly in your life. For me, it felt truly great to go back to a childhood dream.
You can only benefit from being completely and truly honest with yourself. You might not like the answer at first – I didn´t do so either. Everything will seem chaotic and unsure at first. But in the long run, you will be so grateful of having given yourself the time to figure out what you truly want.
Barcelona. A city most people love – especially for going on holiday. It´s the perfect place if you want to party, drink just have a good time. If you live there, however, it is a bit different.
Living in Barcelona
For me personally, Barcelona is too big of a city. It has a lot to offer, but it is very busy, touristic and doesn´t really represent the romantic picture most people here have of it. If I am telling someone I live in Barcelona I usually get a reaction like “Wow cool! So you go to the beach and party all the time, right?” That´s what comes into your head first when you think about Barcelona. Parties and beaches. People forget that this is a normal city as well. With normal people living ordinary lives. For them, the city is nothing special. Yes, it has a beach, but if you live there you rarely spend time there. In the five months I´ve been living here, I went to the beach around 4 times. Barcelona is also not the dreamy, fiery Spanish city where everybody parties at the beach the whole time, dancing Flamenco while eating tapas. It is just another big town that has become consumed by tourism, work and big businesses. It has nothing to do with the relaxed Spanish image people have of it anymore.
As you can already see, I don´t like big cities in general. For someone who loves to be in a city, who loves a lot of noise and party around them, this place will be perfect. But it´s just not the place to be for me. I am a child of nature, I need to be out in the green, I need to be surrounded by natural spaces to be happy and to feel at home.
If you are like me and need a break to breathe from a big city like Barcelona from time to time I have to places I would highly recommend going. Not far away from Barcelona, but far enough. Small, cute and typically Spanish. Not that touristic, but still known. I´m talking about Castelldefels and Montgat. Calm and quiet, perfect to take break from busy city life.
This city is situated in the south of Barcelona. By train, it takes you around one hour and a half to reach it. It´s a beautiful little place. Once you hop out of the train, you will soon see a lot of mansions lining up on top of a hill. It is a rich town, a famous neighborhood a lot of known people already lived in as well. Even Messi settled there for a while and it´s not hard to see why. It is a beautiful little place, calm and quiet. If you´re that famous and seek some time for yourself, that´s the place to go.
I went to Castelldefels with my boyfriend and we had a great time. It was just a short, 2-days trip, but Castelldefels is not that big. You can easily discover the city within a day. We arrived during the night and could admire all the mansions lighting up on the hill while walking up the road to our Airbnb.
Right after our arrival we just went out to eat as it was already late. Our Airbnb was situated a 20-minutes-walk away from the city center, so we already saw a lot of the city walking into the center and back. A lot of nice villas and mansions, a lot of palm trees and fancy gardens. The air so fresh and clear. I felt more at ease instantly. It didn´t even matter that it suddenly started to rain heavily. Castelldefels is beautiful – with or without rain. The rain lasted until the next morning. When we woke up, we had an amazing view out of our hosts window. Green hills in front of us, the mansions in between, brining some color into the soft greenness of the landscape. It was early, humid, the sky covered in clouds. It was grey. But not a sad kind of grey. Just the grey after the rain had passed, ready to let the sun takeover. On a Monday, nobody was on the streets when we walked down to the beach. That´s how quiet it was.
At the beach, we were also almost alone. Standing in the sand, our backs turning to the beautiful houses and hills behind us, in front of us the sea, lay there calm and quiet. We spent some time at the beach, then we went back to discover the city center. As we were staying at Castelldefels beach, we had to take a bus to reach the city center.
Finally there, we went to the most famous sight there is in Castelldefels – the name says it all already: the castle. Unfortunately, as we went there on a Monday we could not even enter the castle. That´s how small this city is. During the weekdays, they don´t have enough visitors to open up the gates of the castle. So, we had to admire it from outside, which was fine for us as well. To reach the castle which is situated on top of a hill we followed a brown ramp leading the way up. Just a 10-minutes-walk up a hill, then we were there. The castle is not that big, doesn´t take a long time to discover. We took our time, went around and saw everything there was to see. It was beautiful, being almost alone on top of the hill, the castle in front of us, the city laying to our feet. Only a few elderly ladies crossed our ways as well in a small park behind the castle. Apart from them, we didn’t see anybody. When we had admired the castle from all sides, we went downhill again into the city.
The city of Castelldefels isn´t big either, the main square just consist of a church surrounded by a few shops. We quickly went through the shops and the church and decided then that it was about time to go home. There was not so much more to see. It is more a place to just be and relax. Especially Castelldefels beach is a quiet little paradise. Surrounded by nature, you can calm down and enjoy some time at the beach.
The second place I would definitely recommend visiting is Montgat. This little village is closer to Barcelona, just 20 minutes by train. A bit farther away from this busy city and quieter, but you can still reach the city center of Barcelona within a short time. This time I went there with a good friend of mine. We just enjoyed our time by the beach which is right in front of the train station. Once you come to Montgat, you can literally jump out of the train and land at the beach.
Only that this beach is also more beautiful than the ones in Barcelona. As beaches in the city are quite dirty, especially in the area close to the nightclubs, I was amazed to be a clean beach with clear water again. The beaches are also not that known and therefor not that touristic. Granted, I didn´t go there during the high season of summer, but I can imagine you don´t have to fight with your neighbor over the last little bit of sand like in Barceloneta, Barcelona’s most famous beach. We spent quite a while there, then we decided to get to know the center of Montgat as well.
While walking through the streets I fell in love with Montgat almost immediately. The narrow walking lanes, the colorful houses were so beautiful, lining up next to each other. We also went up a hill where we had an amazing view over the ocean and the little village. We took few yoga pictures there, on top of the city under an old arch, then went down again.
This place is perfect to practice some yoga, swim and just enjoy your life. To calm down and get away from the stress and busyness of the city for once. Life is already busy enough and for me, it feels so calming to have a change of scenery every once in a while. To see some new places, being brought back into a world that is unhurried, unhectic and at peace.
I can only recommend exploring the surroundings of a city as well if you stay there for a longer time. Most of the times, they are even more beautiful than the actual city. Especially if you are living in a very busy city you will finally be able to escape the stress and hurried life there – at least for a while.
When I was little, I loved to read. 3-year-old me would even sit in our living room with a book in her hands “reading” out loud while turning the pages. Well, I couldn´t read yet, but I already pretended to do so as I knew all my favorite stories by heart and knew exactly where I had to turn a page. In fact, I could fool my parents into thinking I was able how to read for a short period of time. That’s how much I always loved books.
Growing up with books
When I grew older and actually learned how to read, it soon became my favorite leisure time activity. I was such a book worm, I spend hours and hours in front of my favorite stories. Unbelievable adventures, dragons and kings. As soon as a book was laying in front of me I was entering a whole new world. I was easily captivated by it, reading on from morning until dawn. Some books left me so fascinated I could barely leave them aside when my mum called me for dinner. Then I sat at the table, anxiously waiting for our meal to be over so that I could go back to my little world again to know how the story would end.
You see, growing up with books and I always loved them. Which is a very fortunate position. My parents made sure that I would read and also read a lot of books to me when I was a child. They knew this experience would make it way easier for me to love and enjoy reading later on and I’m very grateful for that. I know it is a lot harder to enjoy reading books and to even concentrate that long if you didn’t grow up doing so.
Whenever I think back about these times I basically spent my days reading I´m still amazed. How much time did I have, how little else did I have to do then. The older I got though, the less I started to read. Not that books weren´t interesting anymore. I just grew older, had new priorities now. Going out with friends to party and dance was way more important than sitting in front of a simple book. So, the years passed by and I went from reading one book in a day, to one book a week, then one a month and then I lost count. Basically once I entered university my love to read shifted as I was loaded with so much text that I didn’t want to read even more in my free time.
It was just recently that I discovered my long-forgotten passion. Now, I am slowly starting to read more and more again. Reading is one of the best things you can do for yourself, your knowledge, your education. In fact, reading is the best education you can have. There are thousand, millions, billions books in this world about all kinds of different topics. You can learn so much by just grabbing one that peaks your attention. And this kind of education is for free.
Not completely if you buy a book – which can be pricy sometimes. But if I am thinking about how much work lays behind writing a whole book. It´s an incredible amount of time, long hours of work, frustration, dissatisfaction, tears and sweat. And yes, I am talking from experience here – in case you´re wondering. If you take all of that into consideration, I am amazed that a whole book would just be offered for 5€, 10€. That´s the price of eating out once – or even cheaper. Considering how much you can learn from just a simple book I would say spending your money on a book is ten times better than getting a burger menu.
When I started to realize how much I am missing out when I am not reading, when I am not taking advantage of all this free education. We are incredibly lucky to having the possibility to learn in so many different ways. We have libraries, book shops, you can even buy them at a garage sale.
Discovering reading again
When I started to finally read again, a whole new world opened up. I started to read famous books, started with authors like Paulo Coelho. Books from which I could greatly benefit. Just one book could change your life. If it is the right book read at the right time. Books are the home of so many different ideas and concepts. So many different point of view which will enable you to think about what the author just said, agree or disagree. To write a book people usually know a lot about a topic. So, most of the times you can learn a great deal from them.
To maintain my will to read and encourage myself to read as many books as currently possible, I set myself a reading goal. I want to read at least on book a month – which I was able to do for two months now. In our busy lives nowadays, it is hard to maintain the time to read. Being able to put tasks aside that seem more important or more urgent just to sit down and enjoy a book needs at least some willpower. In doing so, in opening myself up to reading once again learned so much in the last months. As I started to read books on how to improve your life, your mindset, even two or three have already created some change. I read books like The 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen R. Covey, The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson or the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. While reading these books I was completely present and therefore absorbed every piece of information like a sponge.
Reading and brain activity
Reading a book also is way more beneficial for yourself than starring at your smartphone or computer screen all the time. I, for example, work on the computer a lot – while writing this post I have been using one as well as in my current job. For me it feels so liberating to being free and away from a screen for a while. Giving my eyes a break and finally focus on something else than a screen.
Screens are the new problem of our generation. I see it every day – in others as well as in myself. We get consumed by social media. We think we will just go on Facebook for five minutes only to look at the watch later to see 1 hour has easily passed by. While just scamming through the feed, without thinking about anything in particular, just killing time. While doing so our brain will not be very active.
So, what happens when we just stare at a screen without doing anything? We find it relaxing, of course. But why? Because staring at a screen doing nothing doesn´t generate brain activity. The lesser the meaning of what we watch is, the less brain activity will be generated. While watching something completely meaningless, we literally don´t use our brain at all. This fact alone should be alarming. I am trying to get away from screens as much as possible, but I, too find myself consumed in social media scrolling through the feed without searching anything. I will elaborate more about this fact in next weeks post.
That´s why I value reading so much now. While reading, your brain is working, it is not falling into a numb state, accepting what it is seeing with generating little to no thought. While reading, your brain needs to work. Otherwise you couldn´t read, you wouldn´t understand what you are reading. Focusing on important content, we can actually escape this screen focused life.
Ever since I realized I´ve become too consumed by this virtual world, it feels so more relaxing and calming to go back into the world of books. As my goal is to read one book a month now I recently also discovered audiobooks.
I have to say I love audiobooks. They are so practical even if you are very busy. I usually listen to an audiobook on my way to work and on my way back, in the gym or just in the streets when I am going to a place I have been a hundred times and don´t need to focus on my way. That´s when I can fully focus on the book, on the words of the narrator. I would highly recommend listening to audiobooks on Audible (find out more about Audible here), which is an app that offers you a great variety of genres. As you can use it on your phone, you will always have it by your side. So I even get to read / listen to two books a month – one in real book, one audiobook. Which is not bad for a start.
The more I read, the more I also discover what is still out there, what I still have to learn. The more you read, the smarter you become – but you also realize more and more that you in fact know nothing and will never be able to know all the things you want to know.
Take your time to read
I can truly say, I learned so much in the past months. Reading also helped me to gain back my focus and to put down my phone more often now. I am also taking time for myself. Reading a book means taking time for yourself. It means putting other obligations aside to read a book want to read. A book you read for yourself, for nobody else. This is your time, when you can make yourself a cup of tea and just snuggle in a comfortable corner to read. To read on and on, letting time pass while you are completely absorbed and focused on the words in your book. At least that´s how it feels to me. I can easily spend hours reading and reading and reading. I would not get bored. It kind of feels like when I was a child again.
So, take your time to read! Start slowly, pick your books wisely. Set a reading goal. You will see how much you will benefit it within the first weeks already.